My Life Under a Bridge: State Fair of Oklahoma

I LOVE THE STATE FAIR!!! Just a little bit. Ask me why and I couldn't narrow it down to just a couple of things. I've gone almost every year since I moved back to OK and I nag Spike (the name has been changed because he doesn't want me to blog about him) months ahead of time to take me. To the fair. Let's get that straight. It doesn't really float his boat and he is usually hesitant about going but he goes for me anyway and ends up having a good time. So there. To show you a little about why I love the fair I've included some pictures for your viewing pleasure. Let's peruse, shall we?

First in our guided tour is a pic I took of the arch through the window of the tent containing the guy who turns wooden bowls. Why would you put a window in the top of a tent? I don't know. Go ask him and keep your questions to yourselves. Just kidding. But really.

Next we see a couple examples of Okie fashion.

Okay, so we don't all dress like this. I would, but I'd look like the guys in the first pic...but like a girl...not a guy. Are we clear on that? Moving on.

This is my friend Carol. Carol is holding a blue ribbon. Why? Did she win something? Does she just like carrying around blue ribbons? These questions will be answered later. And please raise your hand before speaking. Let's keep this civilized. I think a few of you might like to explain to Carol why it is sooooo not cool to wear a T-shirt representing a state whose fair your are not attending. I'm just saying is all. Lurve ya, Carol.

This is Josie. Josie is Carol's daughter. Josie likes sea lions and they seem to like her. Wait a minute! Did Josie steal Carol's blue ribbon? Again, all questions will be answered in due course. But, I would like to take a minute to tell Josie that I'm a tad jealous that the sea lions hugged her and not me. That may have something to do with the fact that I didn't try to get them to. Whatever.

Next we move to three gentlemen sitting on a bench.

Why are we looking at three men sitting on a bench? Why do we care that they're sitting on this particular bench? Okay, so I'll answer these questions. It's not that we care that they ARE sitting on this particular bench, it's WHY they're sitting on this particular bench that is causing all the hubbub. Let's have a little quiz. Which of the following is the reason these men are sitting here...on this particular bench:

a) They're watching a hog calling competition
b) They're watching a food eating competition
c) They're at a cattle auction
d) None of the above

If you answered d) then you are correct. These men are sitting on this particular bench watching Irish dancing.

Doy!

Next we come to a trailer selling...wait a minute! Gross! It can't be! Ewwwww!!! If you don't know what these are, I'm not going to tell you. Go talk to The Pioneer Woman. She loves talking about these. Blech!

As we keep walking we come to the Footsie Wootsie machines. Put a quarter in and it's supposed to massage your feet...through your shoes. I say that because I've never seen anybody put their bare feet on one of these machines. Actually I think the only thing this machine really does is make 12-year-old boys scream like girls. Hey! I don't make the news. I just report it.

And speaking of odd machines I would like to state for the record that I find this one particularly disturbing. It's just not right! Downright shameful is what it is. Okay, imagine all that with an Okie twang and it's much funnier. Maybe not.

Next is something the OK State Fair wouldn't be the same without. Yup, you guessed it. Tractors!!! Woo-hoo! I know nothing about tractors except that they're shiny and kinda pretty. Don't tell me I'm weird. You think I don't know?

Now I think my friend Spike told me that this thing is called a Thresher. I could be completely wrong. It happens on occasion. It pulls up corn stalks and ties them together somehow so you can buy them to put on your front porch. I don't really know about that last part. It just sounded good at the time.

Here we have a picture of me taking a picture of Carol taking a picture of me. Got it? Good. Why is Josie walking away so quickly? I'm not stalking her. Really!

Here we are at the dog show. This gentleman, whose name Carol told me but I forgot, is balancing a dog on his hand. Why? Why not. And moving on....hold it right there! He has Carol's ribbon. What is with you people today?!!! And it's in his mouth! Now that's just not sanitary. I don't care who you are.

This tour is getting to be a lot longer than I anticipated so I'm just going to show you a few more pictures. Next we see a couple of geniuses who put a lot of thought in to what they would wear to the Fair.

You know, when I'm going to be walking around the State Fair all day the first thing I think to put on my feet is either flip-flops or cowboy boots. I mean, why not? Nothing says comfort like those two choices. I can see the podiatrists rubbing their hands together and grinning now. Mwahahahahahaha!!!

Warning! If you are anything like me the next couple of pics are going to be dangerous for you. You could get kicked out of the State Fair of Oklahoma for doing what I was wanting to. I really, really, REALLY needed...excuse me, wanted...to take one of these home with me.

I'll take this one. I'll call him Bacon. What?

And here are a couple of the Oklahoma State Fair Life Guards.

I feel safer already. Take a look at their feet. The gentleman on the right is going to break his ankle if he stands up too quickly and the other is going to trip. BTW, I have a very strong respect for police officers in general. Please don't find ways to give me tickets because I made fun of you. Please?

Finally we come to the reason for the blue ribbon that's been sneaking up in a few of these pics. That blue ribbon brought about the ultimate procurement of this:

Isn't it pretty? This ribbon was won by the person who took the pics of Josie and the dog balancing guy (dang, what on earth is his name?). See? They didn't steal that ribbon. The competitors of this particular (I seem to like this word today) contest were given a few hours at the Fair to take pictures BUT the blue ribbon had to be in each pic to make sure that you didn't take the pics ahead of time. The two pics that I have shown you were the ones that were chosen between for the final entry in the contest. We have a question!!! Thank you so much for raising your hand. You ask, who took the pics and which one won? I'll think we'll check out the final pic to get your answer.