Just Filling Space

I've started a new blog and seem to be neglecting this one. Not that anyone reads it but there you go. My new blog contains my reviews of movies and will also have recipes. It's www.dinnernamovie.blogspot.com. So there.

Resolutions

I have decided that I'm going to actually try to stick to my New Year's resolutions this year. "What?" you say. "You haven't stuck to them in the past?" Shocking...I know. My will-power is usually so much stronger than that. Yeah, right.

So, following is my list of resolutions in no specific order:

- I will become a member of a church and attend regularly.
- I will get back down to the weight it says I am on my driver's license. (I haven't seen that weight in a long, loooooooooong time.
- I will get enough money in savings so that I won't have to freak every time I need to buy a new tire. This does actually happen a lot more than one would think it should.
- I will stop drinking Coke type drinks. I would say I'm going to cut out caffeine altogether but I really like the occasional sweet, iced tea.
- I will ask a man out on a date. No, I don't have anyone particular in mind yet. I've whined for years about how lonely I am and it's high time I did something about it. Granted, this will actually require me doing something outside my comfort zone. Look out world!
- I will stop being such a cynic. I used to be a nice, shy, quiet person. I miss her. I want her back...to some extent.
- I will stop allowing men to make my cry. What is that saying about the man who is worth crying over won't make you cry? I need/want that guy.
- I will get my house clean and keep it that way. I just never go to the trouble for myself. I would really like to come home every day to a clean house. That would be lovely.
- I will start cooking for myself. Something other than sandwiches and frozen pizza.
- I will keep a daily journal even if it's about nothing. I need to set aside time each evening to write and get rid of any stress or be happy for any triumphs.
- I will try to become content with myself and stop letting others dictate my emotions. This one is actually going to be the hardest for me.

Yes, I do realize that this is quite a list but it's things I should already be doing. Well, minus the asking guys out. I still think guys should do the asking. I guess I'm old-fashioned that way.

Christmas

This is one of my favorite times of the year. I love to decorate and bake cookies, candy, etc. and snuggle down to watch Christmas shows. Something is different this year, though. My best friend has said for years that he doesn't like going to the different Christmas events because it's too commercialized. Of course, I disagreed because I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! This year I have started to agree with him somewhat.

When I first moved back to OK I was broke. But Christmas must go on. You must find a way to get gifts for everyone. Now that I have a better job (which I still love, by the way) I can afford to get gifts and not have to skip spending money on petty things like bills and food. I thought this would make things easier at Christmas but instead it has become it's own difficulty. Did I get enough for one person. Did I get too much for another?

The last few years I have bought my Christmas presents throughout the year so that everything is ready to go by the time I go to visit the family or they come down here for Thanksgiving. It makes the holiday time a lot less stressful. This year, however, things that shouted "This would be perfect for...(fill in relative's name here)" did not pop in to my line of vision. So, when I received my Christmas bonus I went in to full panic mode. I had no idea what to get anyone. Because I don't live in the same house/city/state as my family and haven't for years I don't know what their new hobbies are nor much else about them that may have changed. How do you shop for someone you don't really know anymore? These are still the same people I know and love but it's suddenly become incredibly difficult to find that perfect gift.

My niece is easy to shop for. She likes...stuff. My mom is relatively easy to shop for. My dad and sister are next to impossible. My sister is picky (not a bad thing) and my dad buys whatever he wants/needs. He has been banned from doing any shopping for himself the month before Christmas or his birthday. He is a pro at buying whatever someone else in the family has just bought him for a gift. I am like my niece. The best thing about shopping for me, though, is that I truly believe that it's the thought that counts. If I know that you went to at least a minimum of trouble and thought for me I will be happy.

I have so digressed from the point of this blog. In the midst of my panic to get the perfect gift and spend as much of my bonus as possible I realized that I was freaking out about...stuff. Yes, I realize that my family would be disappointed if they didn't receive anything but do I really need to freak about it? I am a worrier so it's very important to me to get things that I know they'll love. Or at least dislike as little as possible. I have been in the spend, spend, spend mentality. I receive flyers in the mail advertising this or that gadget/movie/game/toy. Thank goodness I don't watch television or I'd probably be overinundated there also. Instead of relaxing and taking my time I went in to attack mode. I am finished with my shopping. I'm thrilled about that. But, did I put as much thought in to my gifts as I have the past years? I have no idea.

I discovered something else about myself during my shopping breakdown. I completely let go of the real reason for the season. I haven't found the church at which I'm meant to be and haven't been looking as hard lately as I should be. So I have, in a sense, taken myself out of the most important part of the season. I miss the fellowship of having Christian friends around me. I do understand this is my fault and that I can do something about it. I like to use the excuse that I'm very shy. I do have difficulty meeting new people. Once I know you, though, you can't get me to shut up. If you have known me for years and are surprised by the previous statements try to remember back to when we first met.

I am determined to bring the season for me back to what it should be. It is a time for family and giving but it's for so much more. It's a time to remember that first Christmas present. A gift that was given not through riches, parades and pageantry but through humbleness (It is a word. I looked it up). I want to be happy because of the reason for the season not because of the number of gifts underneath my tree. Actually, I just want to be happy in general. I don't think that's too much to ask. I'll work on it.

Boys are Stupid

Enough said.

Picture Pages

Mom, Dad, Tam and Kyra went to Yellowstone in July and had a blast. These are some of the pics Tam took with mom and dad's digital camera. I've decided I want this camera. Not that the camera did all the work by itself. Tam is a darn good picture taker person. The buffalo in the pics tried very hard to keep my family from crossing the bridge on which he was standing. Maybe he was expecting a toll. Or maybe he was protesting the invasion of humans on his stomping grounds. Who knows? But, when it's a buffalo vs. your vehicle you should probably let the buffalo win. They can leave a pretty big spot on your paint job.


This bird is a Western Tanager. At least I think that's what Tam told me. All I know is that it's pretty. The following pic is a moose that Tam spotted. They were all playing the "Spot the Animal" game. Kyra saw a grizzly bear but because (for some reason) they decided to keep their distance the pic came out kind of fuzzy. Or maybe that was just the bear. Anyway, Tam got credit for spotting the moose but dad took the pic.


The final pic is just a pretty spot that Tam liked. She thinks it should have scripture with it. If you have any ideas please forward. She would love feedback.


Anyway, I hope you enjoy the pictures. I hope to go back to Yellowstone some day. I went when I was young (I think I was 9 or 10) and all I remember is Old Faithful. Sad, but true.

I hate Fall!!!

Okay, not really. I'm just frustrated that with the change in weather I am having allergy problems. Normally this would just be a nuisance but I'm going to a SCW retreat this weekend in which we sing for hours and I'll be glad if I can muster up a soft croak. Grrr!!! However, I have found that when I get sick my voice gets deeper therefore taking me from a tenor (okay, contralto) to a low baritone. Yes, I do feel feminine and dainty, thank you for asking.

Speaking of singing...if you're one of the 2 people who read this you need to check out this blog: www.thesearemychurchclothes.blogspot.com. This is an OLD (tee-hee) friend of mine and I just logged in to see what's new in his world. Apparently, it's a song. He recorded it in his garage and I think it's pretty darn good. Despite his disclaimer. Actually, it just dawned on me that one of the two people who read this blog is the person I just mentioned so Robin, go check out Tim's blog. :-)

I just realized when I published this post that the link mentioned above isn't set so that you can just click on it. As my head is in a fog right now I can't be induced to figure out what I did wrong. Let me tell you, though, that it is worth the two seconds it will take to hi-lite, copy and paste the link into the browser.

Okay, me again...I added a link to Tim's blog in my Links section. I already knew how to do that so I didn't hurt any brain cells with the effort. I'm okay...really. Well, sorta anyway.

Fall

I am so ready for Fall to get here. The weather has been cool in Oklahoma the last few days and has really made me anxious to start bundling up in warmer clothes, making cold weather food and kicking back with a good book or movie. Not to mention the fact that it's nearly hockey season. I overheard someone the other day saying that some of the hockey games have been cancelled due to the fact that the games conflict with the OKC Thunder. I haven't checked yet to see if this is right but if it is I guess I'll have to find it in my heart to forgive them.

I am going to the Pumpkin Patch with my family again this year. If we can talk dad in to going it will be the first time we've all gone together. I'm sure that most people would think this is not too incredibly exciting , but I have looked forward to it the last few years. You get to walk out in the patch and pick out however many punkins you want to take home. The kids get in free if they wear their Halloween costumes so it's a lot of fun to see them all dressed up. My niece went through the corn maze last year and had a blast. She got through in no time. I would have been hopelessly lost. Somehow, last year I got wrangled into scooping out all of the punkin guts before we carved them. Oh well.

Not a whole lot else is going on in my world right now but I seem to be constantly busy. How does that happen? I know that once I'm back from the trip to the Pumpkin Patch I'll go full in to Christmas mode. I wish I knew now whether or not I am going to be able to go home for Christmas. Here's hoping.