Freaking Out

It's just a few days before Christmas and I'm not ready. I know that's a real shock to those lovely people who know me, but it's true. In previous blogs I mentioned how much I love this time of year, but I neglected to mention how stressed I usually am also. I will admit it. I am vice-president of the Procrastinator's Club. Cari gets top honors. Only because she manages to wait until the last minute and in her stress and freaking out, something wonderful emerges. That's just how she is. She does her best thinking when it gets down to the wire. See Cari? One more spiritual gift. :-D But, I digress.

I'm almost finished with my Christmas gifts. I'm making them, not buying. I always cringe when people open my home made gifts. Will they think it's hokey? Will they think I'm cheap? Will they understand that home made - to me - means so much more than store bought some times? Don't get me wrong. I'm all for "store bought". I just enjoy the pleasure that goes in to hoping that whatever I make will be well thought of (Cari, sorry for the preposition, but I couldn't be bothered to rethink the sentence).

This year I've added an extra stress to my list of reasons to freak out. I signed up to run a marathon and raise money for it and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Well, I've raised 1/3 of what is needed. Great! What began as something good for someone I go to church with has also become my greatest stressor. I still see it as something good and worthwhile. I just don't want to fail. I hate to fail. That, and I'm still a little pudge. Even with the training (which I've had to do by myself), 26.2 miles still seems like a long distance to run, walk, whatever.

I am so glad that Christmas is on a Sunday this year. While we do read the Christmas story - no, not "The Night Before Christmas - THE Christmas Story every Christmas, we go straight from there to opening presents and the entire meaning gets lost, or at least set aside. I like that when Christmas is on a Sunday, we stop, go to church, and truly concentrate on what the day means. We should do that whether we are in church or not, but despite our best intentions, it just doesn't happen that way most of the time.

I'm still incredibly excited about Christmas time. I was thinking about it this morning and realizing that Christmas is almost here and I don't want it to be. I know that sounded funny, but what I mean is that I've enjoyed the days leading up to it. I want to add a few more or find a way to prolong it afterwards. The day after Christmas is such a huge let-down and it shouldn't be. It's just 364 shopping days until the next Christmas. Start early! Beat the rush! I think that's when I'll start planning. Go ahead and send your wish lists. I might get to them before Dec. 24, 2006. Here's hoping.